Anyone holding back from launching into a relationship for sexual confidence reasons should get tickling their love button with a toy - or two.

It may seem obvious, but one well-versed sexpert across the pond has reiterated the experimentation rule to a worried novice who reckons she can only come if she’s lying on her stomach.

Responding to the worried virgin, SEE magazine’s Josey Vogels reassures her that “we all have specific needs and preferences” when it comes to the boudoir.

Before she branches out into the bonking arena, Josey advises the help-seeker to ditch her old vibrator and invest in a shiny new vibrating egg or silver bullet-style clit stimulator.

This, when used in conjunction with a regular “penis-shaped vibrator”, will have her knocking on the orgasm door in no time, according to the love doctor.

When it comes to doing the dirty with the lucky bloke she ends up dating, Josey assures the angst-ridden reader the effect will be recreated if he takes her from behind while she gets clit-tickling (with her new toy, if she fancies) from the angle she’s used to.

Ms Vogels is not alone in her affiliation for a spot of battery-operated assistance in the bedroom - most sexperts advise even the most experienced couples to keep things fresh by experimenting, experimenting and experimenting some more.

As one of the few single women I know that goes to swinging clubs, parties and holidays, I’m probably more qualified than most on the rules of engagement. I got into the scene, quite by accident, with a boyfriend who wanted to have lots of casual sex on his birthday. I wasn’t shocked. He was a sexual guy and we’d had the occasional threesome with friends of his or guys he used to pick up for me in bars. I’d heard of a local club that held a weekly couples night and with no more knowledge than that in mind, we set off. That night we ended up meeting a gorgeous Spanish couple and a few others. He had a great birthday and I haven’t looked back since. Going into that swinging club was quite an eye opener but it took me over a year from our first experience until I was confident enough to go on my own.

If you’re thinking of going to Hedonism or one of the other clubs offered by Shoesonlytravel on your own, be prepared for lots and lots of fun! Single girls are very much in the minority and it takes a special kind of woman to be able to deal with all the attention, some of it unwanted. It pays to be clear from the start with prospective sex partners what you will and won’t do. Touching, unless requested, is completely forbidden and I’ve had guys thrown out of play spaces for putting their hand somewhere without asking me first. There is no point in being shy and frankly, it’s pretty unusual to find a shy, single woman in a swinging club. Most of the gals I meet in clubs are forthright and frank. We’re there for sex, after all. Guys know this but often don’t realise there’s a difference between wanting sex and wanting them.

Nine times out of ten, if you ask, you will receive. The swinging world is full of very generous people. Set the rules and you’re sure to find plenty of men who are happy to play by them.

I stepped out of our seaside villa and into the warm Mediterranean air wearing only a small handbag. I had life’s essentials - - money, keys, condoms, lube - - but never felt more vulnerable in my life. It was apparent that my friends, two naked men in their fifties who were walking alongside me, felt the same. The towels they were carrying were placed strategically, covering their privates.

‘This is weird,’ I said as we walked across the car park. We were making a stop at the supermarket to pick up some bread, wine and other supplies for our weekend expedition. As the mother of two hungry teenagers, I have made innumerable trips to a supermarket, but never had I done so au naturel.

Apparently it was a first for my companions as well, two seasoned swingers from London whom I thought had seen and done it all. ‘You’re telling me,’ said Greg. ‘Weird, but kind of cool.’

Cool it was indeed, at least while perusing the freezer cabinet for an ice cream. Finally it was revealed to me why clothes were invented. Not as a gesture to post-Adam-and-Eve modesty, but - - Alexander McQueen be damned - - as a kind of portable shelter. Exposed to the elements, I felt my nipples stiffen. Shopping in the buff was a novelty, but it was not particularly comfortable. Or sexy. Exposed to all I may have been, but few appreciative eyes fell upon me. The men were too busy picking up their lager and saucisson.

We came to Cap d’Adge, the world’s largest naturist resort and swinging community, for a few days of fun. I had come to experience the French way of swinging after Greg, my usual London swinging partner, invited me to shoot down to Languedoc-Roussillon with him and a few others for some Mediterranean R&R. London was fogged in that day and the idea of sun, sea, and sex appealed. Our group comprised a unique mix of old and young, cute and not-so, professionals and students. There was Nishka, a 24-year-old Indian student who escorted on the side to supplement her student grant; Rachel, a 29-year-old sexy mum of two who organised swinging parties at her luxury home in Derbyshire; Neil, a 46-year-old corporate high flier; Terry, a 57-year-old sales executive who dabbled as a part-time erotic photographer. And then there was Greg, a 52-year-old jack-of-all-trades and amateur porn star, a guy who thanks to his 8-1/2-incher, great technique, and willingness to try anything fun and safe, had featured in both my books, ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker’ and ‘The Not So Invisible Woman.’ Not one genuine couple amongst us. We had been brought together through the wonders of the web, all looking to share some fun and adventure amongst like-minded people. As I discovered over the weekend, there are plenty of us out there. Nothing was quite what it seemed in Cap d’Adge.

People in an outlay of Memphis, TN are enraged with the public display of nudity from Foxy Jacky on a public playground. Foxy Jacky made a video of her playtime on a playground in Bartlett for her website. 

Our report comes from Fleshbot and has some interesting commentary running about where to bare and the public opinion about it.  California and Florida have nude beaches and there are kink fests all over, so why is Foxy Jacky getting such harsh treatment for playing in the park?

Does playtime have to end when you grow up?  We don’t think so!

Since my first book was published in 2005, I’ve been contacted by many of my readers wanting me to recommend my favourite swinging or naturist clubs. I can only tell you what I know from experience, be that good or bad.  I’ve had friends on the scene that have had a great time at a place I haven’t liked and equally I’ve had a ball at venues that other folks really didn’t think were all that wonderful.  Like everything else in life, I think you have to take out of each experience what you can.  There’s no point in going with a huge set of expectations because you’re just bound to be disappointed.  My best holidays have always been ones where I was just looking for sea and a bit of sun and sand and found a great sexy vibe too.

What’s important to remember is that naturism does not necessarily mean swinging and swinging clubs usually have nothing to do with getting naked.  Pure naturism, such as exists in France and Germany -and not so much in the UK - is about the freedom to wander around naked.  It’s about being able to do everyday activities such as cycling, shopping, and eating out au naturel.  French naturists often travel as families, staying in caravan parks and, as you can imagine, mum and dad don’t really want little Johnny and Jane to be watching a couple copping off on the beach.  This is especially true during the high season of July and August when most of the Continent goes on holiday and the naturist resorts are full of families. Equally hardened swingers don’t want to be surrounded by screaming infants either. Swinging, after all, is only about sex.

Over the next few months I’ll be sharing my adventures with you.  Please feel free to leave any comments for me on this blog and I will try and answer your questions as best I can.

We are asked quite often “so what made you decide to open “Shoes Only Travel?”. Like most things in life we came to it almost accidentally.  From a personal perspective, we are world travelers having been to dozens of countries and have enjoyed both textile as well as “Au Naturel” travel for years.

In addition to being well traveled we are what you might call extremely observant and demanding. While we like 5-star travel it is not necessary and we often travel in all categories. What we do demand and look for are experiences where the vacation exceeds our expectations.

Professionally, we have owned a “Brand Identity” consulting firm for over 7 years (having spent over 25 in the industry), providing strategic development and implementation programs for large corporations and governments across the US. In developing Brand Blueprints for our clients we are usually involved in all of the background research, planning and execution to make sure that we understand the customers’ needs and provide our clients the tools to exceed their customers’ expectations. That takes us back to our previously described travel experiences and observations……sort of an occupational hazard.

We spent a year doing some research for a client that involved the Clothing Optional and Lifestyle travel markets. What came out of that research was a deep understanding of the market and, more importantly, what the Lifestyle and Clothing Optional traveler was seeking. Marrying that research with our own personal knowledge led to Shoes Only Travel.

So what makes us different?

We, like other agencies, will of course book travelers to the most popular resorts such as Desire, Hedo and a few others, either individually or in groups. This is a major portion of the market for a good reason. These resorts do a great job and provide the Lifestyle and Clothing Optional traveler the experience they are looking for.

Let me give you an inside tip… the price you will pay from any travel provider is basically the same (it is also the exact price you will pay if you book directly with the resort). The resorts pay a commission out of their end so you, as the traveler, see the same price either way.

So what it comes down to is service and understanding. Understanding the resort as well as the traveler’s wants and needs. Shoes Only Travel has intimate knowledge of all the resorts we represent. We have been to each of them, know the management and understand the experience. We utilize a “Traveler Personality Profile” on our site to develop a clearer understanding of you and your desires so that we can match you to appropriate resorts, which will exceed your expectations. Even if you have been to Hedo II, say 10 times, if you have not been to Desire or Hidden Beach or Grand Lido it is hard to make a judgment about them.

Also, how wonderful is it to have a truly carefree trip? Knowing your transport to and from the airport has been arranged and confirmed for you the day of travel. Even your stay at the resort is personally confirmed the day or two prior to your arrival to make sure they are ready for you and all is good- even arranging an early check in and preferred room location when possible so you will not have to wait for a room and will get a super, rather than random location at the resort.

I recently saw a post for a group trip where the major benefit being highlighted was that they send you a goody bag with 3-4 lbs of stuff (junk).  We choose a little different direction.  Rather than spending money on a bag of things you don’t need and will likely throw away (like, the last thing I need is another bag of stuff) Shoes Only Travel has partnered with CarbonFund.org for our company and all of our travelers to have a green vacation.

This means that when you travel with Shoes Only Travel you will do so knowing your vacation has a Zero Carbon foot print. Shoes Only Travel is paying a fee to  CarbonFund.org for every vacation it books to offset your impact from:

·         Your round trip car ride from your house to the airport

·         Your round trip flight for 2 from your home airport to your destination 

·         Your entire stay at the resort

Finally, you can vacation without clothes and a clear conscience!

Group trips are another area. We take great pains in developing interesting groups often including some entertainment or services not normally found at the resort for our group. We also have at least one host couple and/or staff to accompany the group to act as a liaison onsite with the resort as well as arrange some private parties for our group. It is all designed to make it a special experience for you.

Finally, we saw a need in the market for some more unique and unusual offerings. Again, while the traditional resorts are wonderful, many of us are also seeking new and unusual experiences. So at Shoes Only Travel we are constantly on the lookout for these opportunities. One such unique opportunity is our January 2010 charter of the Windstar’s Windsurf ship out of Barbados. This luxurious, intimate ship (156 cabins) is a total takeover which means this is a 100% Clothing Optional Lifestyle Cruise with unique parties, entertainment and excursions.

So welcome to our family and we look forward to being your Clothing Optional and Lifestyle friend in the travel business for years to come.