And Why it is So Healthy

We have all experienced the phenomenon of liberation from conventionality and societal norms when on vacation. This is true on vanilla vacations where you might have tried an adventure sport like skydiving or scuba diving that you might never have dared to at home. Or even something as pedestrian as eating something which would never normally pass your lips- not only enjoying it, but relishing it.

Ok, so imagine that freedom from conventionality or inhibition, throw in a lack of clothing and then shock the mix with a healthy dose of sexual electricity and- poof! -you have the lifestyle resorts and adventures many have come to know and love and others dream of experiencing.

For so many couples resorts like Hedonism, Desire & Caliente Caribe, along with specialty trips like our upcoming “Erotic Caribbean Au Naturel Cruise,” are their first foray into the “Lifestyle”. There is a very good reason for this: thrust into the open and erotic atmosphere of these venues and freed from conventionality, this is often the first time couples will let down their guards and inhibitions sufficiently enough to open themselves up to experience the truly sexual side of their minds and relationship.

For some, this experience is saved for those annual trips to their favorite resort but for most it is like discovering a whole new and exciting side of your relationship that is enhanced and strengthened. This often begins a more intimate journey into exploring your relationship and enjoying new adventures together.

So what makes it healthy? There are a number of things that we hear from our travelers which create an anecdotal picture of this experience.

For many couples, this first exploration represents a monumental leap in the level of communication they have about their relationship and sexuality. For those that go regularly it is like a booster shot keeping their relationship healthy by making sure the lines of communication are open and strong.

It is funny how many (particularly vanilla) couples who spend their years working, raising families and building their lives rarely or never discuss their relationship, particularly as it relates to sex.

This lack of communication about this basic human emotion and need can often be the pink elephant in the room of a relationship. Exploring your sexuality together, in an open and adventurous way puts this discussion front and center. I cannot tell you the number of travelers that have told us how their lifestyle vacation brought them closer together and energized their romance.

Another benefit is that this is a safe environment. You are away from your home town and normal circle of friends. As a matter of fact, you will likely not know anyone nor will they know you. This anonymity provides a buffer to allow you to explore in a safe and relaxed environment.

Finally, you are there to enjoy yourselves, so your mental and physical receptors are already running at high speed and open to new input. There is a built-in willingness and actual expectation to experience new things.

So next time you are thinking about booking a lifestyle vacation think of it as a booster shot for your already loving relationship, although I will have to admit, I have not been able to find a health insurance policy yet that will cover it J.

Jonathan Baltuch, along with his wife and best friend Lori are the owners of ShoesOnlyTravel.com. He can be reached there or through their profile here at Kasadie “ShoesOnlyTravel”.

There is a lot of talk about marriage lately.  Parade, the insert found in many Sunday newspapers across the country, had a report on the current state of marriages that was enlightening.  Oprah had a highly controversial show about why men cheat last week that got so much attention that it had to have a follow up.

The subject isn’t so new, though. In fact, Oprah was covering the topic of swinging, dubbed “Secret Sex in the Suburbs” back in late 2004.  On the show, a church going, PhD married suburban wife says “swinging has improved her sex life.  ‘What you find out is that it just enhances the experience with your life partner,’ she says. ‘Some of the best sex we’ve had is after we’ve been with somebody else.”

Oprah’s latest relationship and family expert, family counselor M. Gary Neuman, gave tips on how to affair proof your marriage.  The one that seemed most important was communicate your feelings.

Even in an open relationship, communication is a cornerstone.  In fact, it may be more important.  Being able to tell your partner what happened, how you felt about it, and what you learned from a swinging experience can help improve your relationship.

A blog on Thoughts.com about open relationships speaks to the various types of swinging, voyeurism, and other types of open relationships. Again, the main topic is openness with your partner.  It recommends that you “take a good long look at yourself and truly know yourself in and out, before engaging in a long term commitment or relationship with your partner, you would have been up-front and honest with them when first meeting. Telling someone about yourself and your likes and dislikes happen in every single relationship. Do you have the ability to be honest with yourself and potential partners…”

While the post goes on to be more specific about swinging relationships, this seems to be good advice for any long term relationship one would engage in.  The Parade report on marriage found that when it comes to sex,

31% have sex less than once a month
48% of men don’t have sex more often because their spouse isn’t interested
33% of women don’t have sex more often because they’re tired
25% describe marital sex as either tolerable or terrible

Those who responded online to the findings questioned the accuracy of them.  Still, these are high numbers for sexual dissatisfaction.  Maybe the people on Oprah’s Secret Sex in the Suburbs have truly found the right way to stay happy for the long term.

After a day of play on your Shoes Only Travel planned vacation, you and your sweetie decide to spend a night together alone in your room.  You ordered dinner in, have turned down the lights, gotten a nice bath drawn when through the cracks you notice the couple who was two tables over beginning a ménage a trios with what seems to be some newbies to the resort.

 watch, or not to watch?  That is a good question!  And the answer is- WATCH!  Sure,  what could be hotter than seeing the real thing feet away from you knowing that the only thing stopping you is your own will power?  “Sex on the beds….wow…we have witnessed ankles around the ears heavy duty pounding, groups of 4 or 5…etc. Some people enjoy putting on a show…and we enjoy watching.”  Hot stuff coming out of Hedo!

Voyeurism is a fun way to heat up your stay, and it doesn’t have to be while you’re in your room.  During the day, watch the eye candy on the beach.  See if you can spy a wandering hand or all out beach banging when they don’t think anyone is looking!  Or strategically plan and set up a secluded spot to watch the night life unfold before you and make a rule to stay hands off- only for one night.  At Desire Rivera Maya, set up camp in the playroom with rules firmly in place.  Everyone around you is doing it- why not you?  Oh yeah, that’s right.  It’s just the two of us night!  The temptation will drive you wild!  (Be sure to take it out on your partner!)

To increase the electricity, secretly arrange with another couple to entertain your partner while you take a “night off” all the while perched in a quiet corner watching to see what exotic activities happen when you’re sitting on the sidelines!  What is better than watching your partner be vanquished by someone else, teaching and learning tricks?  

Our reports tell us that on occasion friends bring their own apparatus, say something like a sex swing, and will leave it up for all their friends to play with during their stay.  Locating past swinger spots (pun intended!) can be it’s own treasure hunt.  Bring your toys, watch to see who picks them up and how they use them!  Seek out a place that is sure to catch attention where you have a clear view. 

Despite careful planning, let the night unfold as it will by taking a vow to do everything the couple you’re watching is doing as much as possible.  If it’s a blowjob for them, then it’s a blowjob for you!  The thrill of not knowing what’s coming next and having it acted out like your own living mirror is sexy!  If you’ve left your toys for others to play with, take notes and play follow the leader when time permits knowing another couple did their thing with your things!

It doesn’t matter what Shoes Only location you choose, spending a night in or hidden in the shadows can be just as hot as the south of the border sun!  Forbidden fruit is oh so sweet!  And it’s even sweeter when the limitations in place are ones you put there yourself- you know the rules can easily be broken, but for the fun of it, you don’t dare!  Mental bondage can be lots of fun!

Did you know that in some states* “It is illegal for a man to have an erection that is visible through his clothing?”

When you’re in the swinger lifestyle, you see some pretty stupid stuff.  But, the judgments don’t only come from the common, everyday American.  No, sometimes they are put into legal form, brought before the general public, and made into laws.

Here are some of the stupidest sex laws from across the U.S. of A.  Enjoy the laughs and then remember that something had to happen that made these become law!  How about this gem from Newcastle, Wyoming

“An ordinance specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer!”

Talk about a chilly willy!

(If the link is not clickable, follow me though the rabbit hole… http://www.kasidie.com/static/magazine/2008/02/strange-sex-laws.html)

* Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington D.C. and Wisconsin.

The times have never felt so mid 1970’s as they do now.  Recession, corporate layoffs, uncertain political times.  Enter CBS’s taboo new summer series Swingtown.  With characters facing the same tough times we’re facing today, it’s easy to identify with the show. 

As the name would imply, Swingtown also brings the swinger lifestyle into it’s viewers homes at 10PM every Friday night.  With openly swinger central characters, Tom and Trina, the show also brings a lot of controversy.  Rumor has it that CBS is having problems securing advertisers for the show. Paired with the firestorm of controversy surrounding it, the future of this show is up in the air.  One thing is certain; fans of the show are fiercely loyal.

Fans and fanatics hotly discuss everything about the show from it’s story lines to it’s morality on the CBS Swingtown community forum. If you’ve missed out, you can catch most of the show’s episodes online and get in the swing!

Learn more about Swingtown at http://www.cbs.com/primetime/swingtown/

Britons spend more time on romance than on foreplay, according to a sex survey by Virgin 1.

The results of the Europe-wide poll show that Swedes have the most partners, Germans love using toys the most and Italians are most likely to film themselves having sex.

Brits get the accolade of spending the shortest time having sex – a session lasts just five minutes, compared to German couples’ two hour romps.

More than a third of British couples do not even have sex once a week, while 29 per cent of French lovers have it three or four times a week.
Furthermore, Swedes are nearly twice as likely to sleep with someone on the first date than Brits.

Reposted from www.scarletmagazine.co.uk