And Why it is So Healthy

We have all experienced the phenomenon of liberation from conventionality and societal norms when on vacation. This is true on vanilla vacations where you might have tried an adventure sport like skydiving or scuba diving that you might never have dared to at home. Or even something as pedestrian as eating something which would never normally pass your lips- not only enjoying it, but relishing it.

Ok, so imagine that freedom from conventionality or inhibition, throw in a lack of clothing and then shock the mix with a healthy dose of sexual electricity and- poof! -you have the lifestyle resorts and adventures many have come to know and love and others dream of experiencing.

For so many couples resorts like Hedonism, Desire & Caliente Caribe, along with specialty trips like our upcoming “Erotic Caribbean Au Naturel Cruise,” are their first foray into the “Lifestyle”. There is a very good reason for this: thrust into the open and erotic atmosphere of these venues and freed from conventionality, this is often the first time couples will let down their guards and inhibitions sufficiently enough to open themselves up to experience the truly sexual side of their minds and relationship.

For some, this experience is saved for those annual trips to their favorite resort but for most it is like discovering a whole new and exciting side of your relationship that is enhanced and strengthened. This often begins a more intimate journey into exploring your relationship and enjoying new adventures together.

So what makes it healthy? There are a number of things that we hear from our travelers which create an anecdotal picture of this experience.

For many couples, this first exploration represents a monumental leap in the level of communication they have about their relationship and sexuality. For those that go regularly it is like a booster shot keeping their relationship healthy by making sure the lines of communication are open and strong.

It is funny how many (particularly vanilla) couples who spend their years working, raising families and building their lives rarely or never discuss their relationship, particularly as it relates to sex.

This lack of communication about this basic human emotion and need can often be the pink elephant in the room of a relationship. Exploring your sexuality together, in an open and adventurous way puts this discussion front and center. I cannot tell you the number of travelers that have told us how their lifestyle vacation brought them closer together and energized their romance.

Another benefit is that this is a safe environment. You are away from your home town and normal circle of friends. As a matter of fact, you will likely not know anyone nor will they know you. This anonymity provides a buffer to allow you to explore in a safe and relaxed environment.

Finally, you are there to enjoy yourselves, so your mental and physical receptors are already running at high speed and open to new input. There is a built-in willingness and actual expectation to experience new things.

So next time you are thinking about booking a lifestyle vacation think of it as a booster shot for your already loving relationship, although I will have to admit, I have not been able to find a health insurance policy yet that will cover it J.

Jonathan Baltuch, along with his wife and best friend Lori are the owners of ShoesOnlyTravel.com. He can be reached there or through their profile here at Kasadie “ShoesOnlyTravel”.

All travelers to the various erotic resorts have what I like to call “sexpectations”. It is exactly these “sexpectations” that will influence their choice of resort, week and or group, and ultimately whether or not the adventure is a memorable one.

Sex-pec-ta-tions

1. The act or state of expecting : anticipating sexual adventures
2. Basis for expecting : assurance of sexual adventures
3. Prospects of experiencing sex

While everyone has sexpectations, like fantasies, they are not all the same. Although there are an endless number of variables and sub fantasies we breakdown the sexpectations of the majority of our travelers (couples) into three primary categories.

Adventure Travelers (voyeurs) – Those seeking to be immersed in an erotic, even sexually charged atmosphere to enhance and recharge their own sexuality and relationship. They are excited, even aroused by being in the erotic atmosphere, but do not have any desire to play or interact with anyone other than their own mate.

Virgin Explorers – Couples who have not really been involved in the lifestyle before. They have usually talked with each other about expanding and experimenting with their relationship. Typically, they view the open and free atmosphere of a clothing optional or nude resort as a great venue to experiment. Also, as we all know and most likely have personally experienced, often you are willing to try things when in a vacation atmosphere, in a foreign country surrounded by strangers that you might never consider in your home environment.

Seasoned Lifestylers – You know who you are, you may never have been to a lifestyle resort or you may have a tree at Hedo II (for those that do not know when you visit Hedo II 25 times they plant a palm tree with your name- there is a dentist that has 3!) either way you are there to experience and soak in everything and possibly everyone J

So how do you balance your Sexpectations and what is realistic to anticipate? As you can imagine they are different for each of the groups above, but oddly enough the three groups generally live in peaceful harmony at the same time at the same resort.

With that said, depending on your category and your sexpectations, there certainly might be different resorts and weeks where you are more likely to find more of your species!

This is where we work most closely with our travelers, helping them to select the right resort and the right week to allow them to realize and fulfill their sexpectations. Which resort is best? Should they just go on a normal week, or should it be a group week? How long should they go for? These are just a few of the factors to consider.

I like to tell folks, there is never any pressure to do something they may not be comfortable with. If anything, they might have to make their desires known or they may find themselves left totally alone out of respect for their space. Now I am not saying you need to wear a hat that says “come fuck us” (although some have recommended that as a tool) but you do have to present yourselves as open and willing to explore in order to get into that situation.

So, in short, think about your sexpectations, discuss them with your partner, then do it again and then do it again (communication is the key) J Then, when working with your favorite travel professional, don’t be afraid to tell them what category you fall into and what are your Sexpectations……it will pay off with the best vacation of your life J

If the daytime was relatively sedate, at night the streets turned into a glamorous parade of beautiful, and not-so-beautiful, people dressed in fetish gear and the kind of clothing that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Hollywood Boulevard streetwalker.  There were some surprisingly ordinary-looking people amongst the crowd, attired in their day clothes of comfortable trousers, flat shoes, and loose blouses.  Yet the atmosphere was electric, because the people all seemed free and liberated and nonjudgmental.  Yet just like in any other resort, people wandered from one shop to another, shopping for souvenirs. Except here the focus was on the sexy clothes for sale, much of it, I was happy to discover, at prices that were quite reasonable by London standards. Yet a lot of it was gear suitable for a naturist/swingers resort, not the streets or even clubs of London.  Crotchless, bell bottomed white lycra trousers, micro mini skirts, sky 6” high lap dancing shoes.  I came back empty handed.

I came to Cap d’Adge prepared - - with my favourite pulling outfit, a leopard-print halter neck dress and some sky-high slut shoes.  Rachel looked dynamite in thigh-high red lace-up boots and a micro skirt and top, whilst Nishka wore a pair of cut-off shorts topped with a green and black brocade corset. More than once we heard people say of us, ‘Les anglais. Ze are crazy, no?’ No crazier than anyone else, so we considered their appraisal a compliment.

The highlight of the trip came after midnight, when the couples clubs came to life.  We found our bulls-eye, a club called Tantra, after popping in and out of a number of doorways. It was dark and atmospheric and filled with good-looking people of all ages. We sucked and fucked our way around the play spaces and dark rooms until early morning.  Most of the French couples wanted to watch more than play, but being exhibitionists on holiday, that didn’t bother us.  Rachel took on a twelve guys, stopping only because she was tired and feared a thirteenth man might prove her unlucky number.  Lying down in a group playroom, blindfolded, I let a man fuck me before he reached into my pussy and slid his hand back and forth until I gushed.  It was my first time - - a memorable finale to what was a most amazing holiday.

Alternative lifestyles are getting a lot more attention in the media lately.  Of course polygamy (the practice of being married to more than one woman) creates headlines in the news, but the internet is crawling with forums for people living alternative lifestyles and now TV is has waved bye-bye to the taboo line of same-sex kissing on the small screen and gone to full on bisexual and gay relationships, and swinging has made it to the big 3 networks.

CBS’ new television show, Swingtown, has brought open marriages into prime time and made it available to anyone with basic cable.  It is exciting to see misconceptions about open marriages being corrected. Just because Tina and Tom are swingers, does not mean that anything goes.  There are still just as many emotions involved, and they are just as sensitive as the next person in line at the grocery store. Their discussion forum is heated, though many people under the guise of anonymity are posting their experiences and support for the show. 

Not being so anonymous, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have recently brought their marriage into the open.  Of course, this is also sparking a lot of debate.  To me, the important thing is that he’s talking about honesty in the relationship which is really the key to any successful relationship, open or closed.

The surge in exposure is driving people to websites for all types of lifestyles.  The conversations are important.  It is great to see people talking about what they want and how to get it either in their current relationship, by working on the relationship, and/or changing it as needed.  It’s also good for people to share experiences.  Not every open marriage stays open. Not every polyamorous relationship ends up happy.  Then again, monogamous relationships don’t always end in a ride into the sunset either.

If you’re looking to take a walk on the wild side, Shoes Only Travel offers great travel packages to places like Hedonism resorts, Desire resorts, and other exciting clothing optional excursions like Au Naturel, Lifestyle cruises where the Vegas tag line, “what happens in _____________ (Hedo, Desire, vacation) stays in _____________” apply.  The warm Caribbean waters can bring out some hot adventures.  Let Shoes Only take care of the travel arrangements while you prepare for the time of your life.

Regardless of where people fall on the relationship spectrum, the most important thing is dialogue in relationships; being able to talk about your needs and desires. Perhaps when we start with our own relationships, we can begin to think about other types of relationships and how they fulfill our needs.